L's Shoes & other One Shot's
by Shadow of the Forgotten
Summary: A collection of humorous one shot's involving the Death Note gang. Includes: L and his shoes, Light's obsession with his appearance, Matsuda's luck...or lack thereof and more.
1. L's Shoes

This story was inspired by a pair of shoes I saw. A picture of the shoes can be found on my deviant-art page under the name shads-pics, or just do a search for L's shoes.

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Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Death Note or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

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L's Shoes

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L and Light had been sitting in front of their computers for the last seven hours when Light suddenly rubbed his eyes. 'God this is annoying.' He thought as he closed off the file he was currently viewing. 'If I have to look at one more stupid company memo from Yotsuba Corp, I'll go insane. It's obvious that Kira is one of them, I just wish there was a way to prove it.' Sighing, he closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair.

"Tired Light-kun?" L asked, taking a bite of his cake while his eyes continued to scan the screen before him.

Snorting, Light rolled his eyes. "No, of course not." He said sarcastically. "Who could possibly be tired after staring at a computer screen for _seven hours straight_."

If L noted the sarcasm in Light's words, he didn't show it. "Good, we still have about four hundred more files to go through tonight. I'm glad to hear you're still doing fine." L said as he opened up four more files and began to sift through them.

"Yeah, yeah." Light muttered as he sat back up and double clicked on a random file. Several minutes passed in silence until Light once again became bored. Deciding that maybe some conversation would help the time pass quicker, he glanced over at L. "You know, I've been meaning to ask." Light said as he closed his current file and opened another one. "Exactly how many pairs of that outfit do you own?"

"Hmm." L cocked his head as he thought. "My closet currently houses 9 of these shirts, 7 pairs of these jeans and unfortunately only one pair of my shoes." He said after a few seconds had passed.

"Oh." Light replied. I mean really, what else can you say to that. He did ask after all. Several more minutes slipped by in silence until Light spoke up suddenly. "Wait, what did you mean by 'unfortunately only having one pair of your shoes'?" He asked curiously. "You rarely ever wear them, why would you want another pair?"

L set down his spoon and spun his chair to face Light. "I do not _want_ another pair Light." He said seriously. "I _need_ another pair."

"…ok." Light said, raising his eyebrow at the odd detective. "Do I even want to know why?"

Shrugging, L replied. "I can not possibly know that Light, but in case you do I will explain." Taking another bite of his cake, L set his spoon down once again before placing his hands on his knees. "Many years ago when I was but a child, Watari decided that walking around barefoot was going to cause my feet serious problems one day so he took me shoe shopping. Sadly, that did not work as well as he'd hoped since I managed to scare away all the sales people and I refused to wear socks. Did you know that shoe stores frown on you trying on shoes without socks?" He questioned.

Light opened his mouth to answer, but was frankly too shocked to say anything. L rarely talked, and when he did it was almost always about the case. Now here he was spouting off some story from his childhood. In all honesty, L was seriously beginning to scare Light. 'Note to self, never ask L a personal question again.' Light thought as he watched L nod at his silence and continue.

"Yes, neither did I, but apparently it is wrong." L continued on. "Anyway, after that I refused to look for anymore shoes Watari decided to shop for some himself. However, after several dozen trips to the stores and back he got tired of returning shoes I wouldn't wear and he gave up." Pausing to take another bite of cake, L continued. "A few years later, Watari stumbled upon a pair of shoes that he thought would be perfect for me so he bought them. He was right, not only did the shoes fit, but they even had my name on them. They were perfect."

"Wait, what do you mean they had your name on them?" Light cut in suddenly. "Do you mean Watari wrote your name on them?"

Raising an eyebrow, L gave Light a look that said he was clearly crazy for thinking that. "Why would Watari write my name on a pair of shoes, that would be stupid." L said. "No, the shoes came with my name on them." Reaching under the desk, he pulled out one of his raggedy white shoes. Holding it up, he pointed to the 'L' that was sitting on the side. "See, it has my name on it."

Light nodded dumbly as he watched L put his shoe back under the desk, and decided it would probably be best if he kept his mouth shut for awhile.

"As I was saying." L said as he shifted to get more comfortable. "I sent Watari out the next day to buy as many pairs as he could find, but sadly there were only three pairs left. When he told me this I spent weeks on the computer checking every database I could find to see if there were anymore left anywhere. Unfortunately, the company had been out of business for many years and that was the last of their stock so I was unable to get anymore of my shoes." L finished with a slight frown.

Light looked at L's frown and shook his head. "Well…that was some story." Light said lamely. "Now if you don't mind I think I'm going to lie down before my brain explodes." He muttered quietly.

"You do know that it is impossible for your brain to explode, right?" L asked, cocking his head to the side questioningly. All L got as a response was a 'thud' as Light's head hit the desk. "Hmm, he must not be feeling very well." L said softly as he opened up several more files and took another bite of cake. "Poor boy."


	2. Light's Clothes

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Death Note or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

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Light's Clothes

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The first time L officially met Light was at their college entrance ceremony, and even back then it was obvious that Light spent many hours working on and maintaining his perfect appearance. The question L continued to ask himself as he began to interact with Light more was simple, why would any man spend so much time on their appearance. And so began L's investigation into the world of Light's clothes.

At first, L decided that observing Light in his natural element would lead him to clues. However, after following Light home one day and nearly scaring his poor sister to death by popping up out of seemingly nowhere, Light had promptly kicked him out of the house and told him to never come back.

Since his first plan had failed, L moved on to his second, following the college student around everywhere he went to study his habits outside of the Kira case. Unfortunately, no one told L that sneakily following someone to gather information could appear to the untrained eye as if you're stalking said person. It took quite awhile to convince the police that he wasn't some pervert trying to kidnap the 'poor boy'.

'This is getting me nowhere.' L thought to himself as he nibbled slowly on his thumb. 'I have been trying to solve this mystery for over a week and all I've gotten so far is a rather large headache and a new found fear of police stations.' Staring at Light's back, L blinked several times before shrugging. 'Well, when all else fails, try the simplest approach. I'll just ask.' Standing up, the hunched over detective walked over to his associate and stared at the back of his head. Several moments passed in silence before Light spoke up.

"Do you need something, or are you just going to continue to stand there L?" Light asked in slight annoyance before turning around in his chair to face the older detective.

"I do Light-kun." L said, pulling his thumb from between his teeth. "I was curious as to why you spent so much time on your appearance."

Raising an eyebrow, Light stared at the dark haired man before him. "Are you feeling all right L?"

"Of course, why do you ask?" L replied, cocking his head in question.

"…never mind." Light said. Deciding it would be better to simply answer L's question, Light continued. "I enjoy dressing nice because appearances mean a lot in this world…not to you obviously, but to the majority of people out there. You'll get farther in life if you take the time and dress better."

L began to chew on his thumb as he thought about Light's answer. "So if I were to dress like you people wouldn't find me odd?" L asked curiously.

Light opened his mouth to respond and then paused. "…well I wouldn't go that far, but it couldn't hurt to dress up nice once in awhile." He said after a few moments. When L remained quiet, Light continued. "Would you like to try on something nice of mine to see what you think?" He asked.

"I don't see how it would be of any value to try on your clothes, but I am rather curious." L said through his thumb. "Yes, perhaps I will try on something." He finished with a nod.

"Very well, then let's get going." Light said as he grabbed L's hand and proceeded to drag him out of the room.

ooooo

"Light-kun, you really must let my arm go if you do not wish for it to fall off." L said as he was pulled up the stairs towards Light's room.

"Oh, sorry about that." Light said absently as he released the detectives arm in favor of opening his bedroom door. Heading over to the closet, Light slid one side open and stood back so L could have a look. "Well there you go, feel free to try on whatever you want."

L's eyes widened as he stared at the thousands of articles of clothes that lined every inch of the young man's closet. "If I hadn't been paying attention when we walked in I'd be almost positive that we were in a department store." L muttered to himself as he ran his eyes from one side of the closet to the other.

When L failed to move, Light rolled his eyes and stepped into his closet to look through his collection. "Since you're so pale I was thinking we'd try you in something blue, not too dark, but nothing sky blue either." Light said from the confines of his closet.

Suddenly a light bulb went off in L's head. 'Of course, why didn't I see this before. No wonder he spends so much time on his appearance, he's gay.' And then everything made perfect sense to L. "Never mind Light-kun, I no longer have a need to try on any of your clothes, I have finally solved the mystery." L stated proudly.

"What mystery?" Light asked as he poked his head out of his closet.

"Why the mystery about you and your obsession with appearances of course." L stated as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Though I can't imagine why it took me so long to figure it out. It was rather obvious." He muttered in annoyance.

Light watched as L pulled a stick of pocky out of…well quite frankly, Light had no idea where the detective kept the junk food he always seemed to have on hand. It was a mystery that had yet to be solved. 'Not for lack of trying, but I swear he pulls that stuff out of thin air.' Light thought. 'One minute his hand's empty and the next, 'poof', instant candy. Weird.' Shaking his head to clear the strange thoughts, Light focused back on the conversation at hand. "Figure what out?" He asked, now thoroughly confused.

"That you're gay of course." L said bluntly as he finished his snack in two bites.

Light's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in shock. "W-WHAT?!" He screamed. "I am not gay!!"

L simply raised an eyebrow. "Light-kun, no guy has a closet this large, filled to the brim with clothes, unless he's gay. For a genius, you're not very smart."

"B-but I'm not g-gay!!" Light stuttered.

"Really, you would think that with a closet this large you'd be 'out' of it by now." L said with a small smirk.

"How dare you!" Light seethed as he inched towards his desk where the Death Note was hidden. "I should kill you for implying that _I_ am gay!"

"Calm down Light-kun." L said as he held up his hands in surrender. "Let's not make this a big deal." Seeing Light's eyes narrow, L gulped. "I think I'll be going now, bye." He said quickly before throwing open the bedroom door and running down the stairs. 'Well that wasn't very smart of you L.' He thought to himself as he reached the front door. 'Apparently he wasn't ready for anyone to find out yet.' As L rounded the corner, Light's voice ricocheted off the buildings around him.

"I'M NOT GAY!!"

"Note to self, keep mouth shut from now on." L said as he raced down the street. "Another note to self, since I'll never listen to the first note, make sure to exercise more." He mumbled as his breath became short.


	3. Matsuda's Luck

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Death Note or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

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Matsuda's Luck

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'Today's the day.' Matsuda thought happily. 'My horoscope said I'd have good luck so that must mean I'll make a break in the Kira case. Then everyone will see how brilliant I am and they'll stop treating me like an errand boy.' Skipping slightly, Matsuda smiled as he walked into L's new headquarters and headed to the office area. Throwing open the door, he announced cheerfully. "Hi everyone, I'm here!"

Light and Soichiro ignored the loud-mouthed detective to continue discussing the files they were looking through while L raised an eyebrow. "Must you always state the obvious?" L asked curiously as he took a plate of sweets from Watari. "It seems rather pointless to tell everyone that you're here when they can obviously see you standing there."

Pouting, Matsuda crossed his arms and plopped down in a chair next to Light and the Chief. "Meany." He muttered as he picked up a file and began to leaf through it.

Light rolled his eyes at the childish man before closing the file he'd been discussing with his father. "Well since Matsuda's here, I think I'll go out and take a walk to clear my head." Light said as he headed over to the door. Glancing back at the stack of files he'd made, Light narrowed his eyes at Matsuda. "Please try not to make a mess of things while I'm gone." He said as he walked out.

Soichiro chuckled softly. "Don't let them get to you Matsuda." He said, patting the younger detective on the back. "They're just stressed out about the case since we haven't had any real breaks in awhile. It's nothing personal."

"Actually it is personal; he's an idiot." L muttered under his breath. Seeing the glare Soichiro sent his way, L quickly turned back to his computer and began to devour his sweets.

"Thank you sir, I feel much better now." Matsuda said with a smile.

Thankful that Matsuda had been too busy talking to hear L's comment, Soichiro stood up and stretched his back. "I'm glad, now if you two don't mind I think I'll go join Light on his walk. All these files are beginning to give me a headache." With a small wave, he headed out the door.

Picking up a file, Matsuda opened his mouth to start a conversation with the strange detective, but quickly thought better of it. 'I think I'll just sit here and work in silence.' He thought to himself as he tossed the file down and picked up another one.

Time dragged on slowly and Matsuda began to get really bored. 'We've already been through all these files a hundred times. There's nothing else here.' He grumbled in his head. Grabbing another file and absently thumbing through it Matsuda winced as he sliced his finger. "Ow." He whined as blood began to drip slowly from the wound. Putting his finger in his mouth to suck off the small amount of blood that had gathered there, Matsuda frowned when he realized that some of the blood had gotten on the file. "Great, now how am I going to clean thi--." Pausing, he read the line below the stain again; and then once more to be sure that it wasn't just his eyes playing tricks on him. "No way." He said in awe. "I found something!" Matsuda shouted as he jumped up and took the file over to L. Thrusting the papers into the dark haired man's face, he grinned happily.

"…yes Matsuda, you found a file. Congratulations." L said slowly, wondering for the thousandth time how someone as incompetent as the man standing before him could become a member of Japan's police force. 'Obviously someone must have been sick the day they hired him.' L thought as he continued to stare at him.

Staring at the papers in his hand, Matsuda paused. "No, this was just sitting over there with the other files. Was it missing or something?"

Rubbing his temples to help minimize the oncoming 'Matsuda Migraine', L took a deep breath. "No Matsuda, the file wasn't missing." He said, rolling his eyes and hoping that someone, anyone, would come and save him from the hell known as Matsuda's world.

"Oh, well that's good." Matsuda said happily. "It wouldn't be good if we lost files around here."

"Was there a purpose for this conversation?" L asked. "Or did you just come over here to prevent me from getting my work done?"

Pausing, Matsuda tapped his chin in thought. "I'm sure I had a reason." He mumbled quietly. "Ah hah, now I remember! I came over here to tell you that I found something." Matsuda finished with a grin. When L continued to stare at him boredly, he continued. "Right, I'll get to the point."

"Please do." L replied. "I don't have all day."

Nodding, Matsuda pointed to the second line on the first page of the file. "Do you see this line here?" When L raised an eyebrow, he continued. "Well I found the same line on this page here." Matsuda said as he flipped the page. "This person has made several large deposits to an unknown bank account in the last few months. I think they're being blackmailed by Kira."

L flipped through the pages and his eyes widened slightly. "Hmm, you may be right about that, though it's obvious that it's not the first of second Kira. It might be the third, the one from Yotsuba corp. that's doing it though. I'll have to pull up this man's files to see what links he has to the company. Good job Matsuda." L said as he began to pull up the necessary data.

Smiling brightly, Matsuda was just about to do his victory dance when L continued.

"Now if you'd be so kind as to get some more tea from the store it would be greatly appreciated." L finished, and then as an afterthought added. "Oh, and would you mind getting several boxes of sugar cubes and a strawberry frosted cake while you're at it. Thanks." With that L went back to typing furiously on his computer.

Matsuda opened his mouth, and then closed it. Shaking his head, he began to pout. 'That's just my luck.' He thought annoyed as he grabbed his coat and headed towards the door. 'I finally manage to find a clue and L brushes it off and sends me out for snacks. This sucks.' He whined to himself as he pulled open the door.


	4. Misa's Dreams

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Death Note or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

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Misa's Dreams

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"Oh Light, you're so perfect." Misa said as she kissed the picture of her beloved goodnight. Gently placing the frame with her precious picture (which looked suspiciously like it was taken with a hidden camera) down on her nightstand, she plopped down onto her bed and smiled. "Good night my darling Light." Closing her eyes, Misa drifted off to sleep.

ooooo

The next day found Misa stuck once again in her hotel suite with nothing to do. "This is sooo boring." She whined as she sprawled out on her couch. "I wish Light was here, my precious darling. I can see it now, he'd throw open the door and whisk me off to some fancy restaurant where we'll talk about our future together. Then, when the time is right, he'll lean in and give me a kiss." Misa finished with a dreamy smile.

Suddenly, the door to her suite burst open and Light strolled in. Grabbing a coat off the rack near the door, he tossed it over at Misa and turned around. "Come on, we're going out to eat." He said as he disappeared down the hallway.

Blinking, Misa jumped up and threw on her shoes before racing after her boyfriend. 'Well, it wasn't quite as romantic as I imagined, but I'm sure he just didn't want to show how much he cares while that creepy detective is watching.' Misa thought, wrapping her arms around Light's as she finally caught up with him.

Shaking the arms off, Light opened the door to outside and headed towards the car. Getting in, he patiently waited for Misa to do the same. When he saw her still standing by her door, Light rolled down the window and growled. "Hurry up and get in. I don't have all day." He said harshly.

With a sigh Misa opened the passenger side door and slid into the car. 'So much for a chivalrous Light.' She thought with a small pout as the car pulled out of the garage and headed down the street. Glancing over at Light, Misa thought about starting up a conversation, but changed her mind. 'Work must have been really stressful to make him this upset, I think I'll let him calm down first.'

The rest of the drive was silent, and when they finally arrived at the restaurant Misa was thrilled when Light got out and opened the door up for her. 'I knew he'd relax if I gave him some time.' She thought happily as she took the offered arm and was lead inside the building.

The couple sat down and, after flipping through the menu, put in their orders. After their drinks arrived, Light picked up his glass and leaned back slightly in his chair. "So Misa, tell me about your dreams for the future." He said as he took a sip of his drink. "What do you want out of life?"

Smiling softly, Misa put down her fork. "My only dream has already come true, I have you." She said dreamily.

"Yes, you do." Light responded with a partially forced smile. "But there must be something you want out of life. It can be anything, big or small."

"Hmm, how about a kiss. Misa asked with a smile.

Forcing a chuckle, Light nodded. "Sure, whatever you want." He said as he put down his glass. "But first I need you to do something for me."

"Anything." Misa replied. "Just tell me who to kill and I'll do it. I'd do anything for you, you know that."

"That's not what I was talking about." Light said, shaking his head. "I already have the next two weeks planned out. If you killed anyone now it would only cause me problems."

"Then what do you need?" Misa asked, cocking her head in curiosity.

"I want you to break up with me…temporarily of course." Light said casually.

Tears welled up in Misa's eyes as she stared at the man across from her. "…b-but why?" She asked with a small sob.

"I need a reason to get out of the city for awhile so I can deal with some unfinished business away from all these cameras, and you are the perfect excuse." Light replied. "It's simple really, you break up with me and then I act all distraught and tell everyone I need to get away for awhile. They'll all agree and I'll have a convenient excuse to leave the city. It's the perfect plan."

"But what about me?" Misa asked. "What am I supposed to do?"

"I don't care, do whatever you want." Light said with a shrug. "Besides, it's not like it's permanent. Give it a few weeks and then you can come crawling back to me and everything will go back to normal."

"It's only for a few weeks then?" Misa said as she wiped her eyes.

"Assuming nothing goes wrong, then yes it'll only be for a couple of weeks." Light said as he took another sip of his drink. "Do this and I'll give you a kiss as promised."

Pausing to think for a second, Misa nodded. "Deal." She said with a smile. "But I want one kiss now and another when we get back together in a few weeks."

Narrowing his eyes, Light sighed. "Fine, I'll give you another kiss later."

"Yay!" Misa said happily as Light leaned in for a kiss. Closing her eyes, she pursed out her lips and waited. Suddenly, Misa felt a hand on her shoulder that began to shake her harshly. Opening her eyes, she looked up at Light and scowled. "That wasn't very nice; if you didn't want to kiss me right then you could've just said so. There was no need to shake me." She said angrily.

Light's eyebrow rose as he stared down at the bubbly woman. "…are you feeling ok?" He asked curiously.

"Of course I am." Misa said sharply. "I'm the one who should be asking you that." When Light looked at her oddly, she threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "You're the one who made the offer in the first place, and then right when you were going to kiss me you change your mind and decide to shake me instead. What kind of a man does that?" Misa said.

'Someone who has to put up with you.' Light thought, shaking his head at the troublesome woman. "Seriously though, what are you talking about?" He asked. "I only came up here to tell you that you're needed downstairs. What's all this about a kiss?"

Misa's eyes widened as she looked around her hotel room. "It was all a dream? Then you didn't ask me to break up with you?" When Light raised an eyebrow at her in question, Misa shook her head sadly. "Then that means I don't get a kiss." She whined.

"Ok then." Light said as he turned around and headed towards the door. "I'm leaving. Feel free to go back to whatever delusion you came from."

Watching Light walk out the door, Misa started to sniffle, and then she began to cry. "It's not fair!" She whined. "Light won't even kiss me in my dreams!"


	5. Ryuk's Life

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Death Note or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

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Ryuk's Life

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One would think that being a shinigami is relatively easy work. You spend your days loafing off in the shinigami realm playing games, and then every once in awhile you peer down into the human realm and kill off some random human. Easy, right. Of course it is, but that's not the point. Just because shinigami have things so much easier doesn't mean that they don't have hard times and problems to deal with…they just don't have all that many.

ooooo

The day started out like any other. Light got up and went to school, wrote three names in his Death Note during class and then began the walk to L's new headquarters once his classes were over for the day. Usually Light prefers to walk in silence, however, today he actually felt like talking so he decided to ask a question that'd been bugging him for awhile now. "Hey Ryuk, I've been wondering, what's it really like being a shinigami? I mean I've never really seen you do anything other than fly around and laugh at how stupid humans are. What else do shinigami do?" When Ryuk paused and looked at him strangely, Light rolled his eyes. "Just because I'm a genius doesn't mean I'm not allowed to be curious sometimes."

When Ryuk remained quiet, Light shook his head. "So are you going to answer my question or are you too shocked to speak now?" He asked in annoyance.

"It's not that." Ryuk said as he wiped a new found tear from his eye. "It's just that no one's ever asked me about myself before. I was beginning to think that no one cared about me at all."

"…um, I wasn't asking about you, I was asking what it was like to be a shinigami." Light said as he watched Ryuk sniffle. "I really don't care about y-."

Cutting him off, Ryuk smiled widely. "Because you like me so much I'll tell you everything." He said happily. "In the beginning we shinigami actually spent a lot of time down here in the human realm because, let's face it, why would anyone want to stay in the desolate shinigami realm. So we'd come down here in shifts, usually two of us at a time, and just wander around exploring things. The king said our trips were to keep an eye on the humans, but we all know that what he really cared about was scaring people to death, literally. He's the only one who ever managed to appear to people at will, I still can't figure out how he did it."

Light opened his mouth to speak, and hopefully shut up the annoying shinigami before he was forced to listen to his complete life story, but Ryuk simply continued on.

"Then around a hundred years ago the king just decided that it wasn't worth it anymore and suddenly the trips stopped." Ryuk continued on. "I guess no one wanted to come here if the king wasn't going to. Anyway, things got really boring for me after that. I spent several years just sitting in one spot staring out at…well nothing actually since the shinigami realm is rather small and all. Life as a shinigami was rather dull. I guess the others were content to just sit around all day doing nothing, but after about ninety-five years I was so bored that I decided to drop the Death Note that you found." He finished.

"Finally, I was beginning to think you'd never shut up." Light muttered under his breath as they neared the building L had built for the new headquarters.

Just then, Ryuk began to talk again. "You know, it's kinda nice to have someone to talk to about things." He said somewhat cheerfully. "And since you're being so nice I think I'll let you in on a little secret about the 'eyes'."

Whipping around, Light looked at Ryuk expectantly. "What secret?" He asked quickly, hoping that it would be some valuable information that he could use in his quest to make the world a better place.

Glancing around, Ryuk leaned down to whisper. "Using these eyes gives you one hell of a headache." He said in a hushed tone.

Dropping his head, Light ignored the shinigami as he pulled open the door and walked inside. 'I should have known it would be something stupid like that.' He thought in annoyance. 'Damn shinigami.'

Ryuk began to laugh as he watched Light walk through the door. "That boy is so much fun to tease." He said with an evil grin. Laughing, Ryuk spread his wings and took off into the sky.


	6. Watari's Wards

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Death Note or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

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Watari's Wards

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Watari sat at his desk inside Whammy's House, the home he'd created for gifted children with nowhere else to go, sipping his cup of tea. He'd finished the necessary paperwork for the newest child that was coming to stay with them and had decided that it was time for a well deserved break. Leaning back in his chair, Watari closed his eyes and let the aroma of his tea calm his nerves. 'Such a wonderful smell.' He thought as he took another small sip. Yes, everything was going well so far today.

Placing his cup back on the desk, Watari picked up the file for one of his oldest wards. Flipping the folder open, he stared down at the image of a pale boy with wide eyes and black unruly hair. "I'll need to update his photo soon." He muttered as he skimmed through the reports to make sure everything was in order. Closing the file once he'd finished, Watari proceeded to pick up the next file in the stack and open it. "Ah, Mello. That child is such a troublemaker." Closing the file and moving on to another, he shook his head. "And of course we can't forget Matt, Mello's partner in crime." Picking up the last file, he smiled at the small albino child. "And last we have Near. Such an odd little boy." Dropping the folder onto his desk, Watari was just about to pick up his tea again when he heard a loud crashing noise.

Standing up quickly, Watari headed out of his office and into the rather large 'living room' area of the house. "What in the world happened?!" He asked as he stared around with wide eyes. The room looked like it had been split in half; one side was splattered in what appeared to be small pieces of melted chocolate and the other side in what looked like flour. Standing in the center of the room were the four children whose files he'd just been going through. When the boys just glanced around nervously, Watari narrowed his eyes. "Someone had better explain to me what's going on here."

"Well he started it!" Mello shouted suddenly, pointing a finger at Near. "It's all that freaks fault!"

"I was merely sitting here when you attacked me out of the blue." Near replied calmly.

"Liar, you were totally egging him on!" Matt shouted. "And you even went after his chocolate; that was really low man."

Watari looked over at L who was scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "Explain." He stated sternly. "Now."

"Well you see…" L started slowly. "We were all playing a game of cards when Mello made a comment about Near being pale, which led to Near making a comment about Mello's clothes being 'gay'. This of course started a very heated game of cards in which the boys tried to destroy each other, but about halfway through the game I accidentally dealt wrong and Mello thought it was Near cheating." Pausing to take a breath, L continued. "After that things really began to go downhill. Mello and Near started insulting each other nonstop and at some point Near ended up stealing Mello's chocolate and melting it over the stove. Mello freaked out and chased Near in here before throwing his now gooey chocolate at him. As you can see, he missed, but the chocolate ended up all over the wall and on Matt's new goggles. Because of that though, Matt felt the need to join in the fight. He ran into the kitchen grabbing the first thing he could find, which happened to be the flour, and brought it back in here to throw at Mello. Obviously he missed as well, but that's why the room is so messy."

Blinking, Watari shook his head slowly. "I'm getting too old for this." He muttered as he turned around and walked right back into his office. Sitting down in his chair, he picked up his now cold tea and took a sip. When he heard another crash and some rather loud screams, Watari closed his eyes and shook his head. "I do hope those boys grow up soon. Otherwise I'll have to replace that whole wing…again."


	7. Near's Toys

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Death Note or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

* * *

Near's Toys

* * *

"Hey, Matt." Mello said quietly, gently elbowing his friend in the side to get his attention. "You ever wonder why Near's so obsessed with those toys of his?"

Looking up from his game, Matt glanced over at the albino child. "Not really, why?"

"Think about it, he sits there for hours playing with them and yet he always looks like he's bored." Mello replied in a whisper. "He almost looks like a robot."

"…so?" Matt questioned. "What difference does that make, he's just being Near."

Glancing around quickly to make sure no one was listening, Mello leaned closer to Matt. "What if his toys are _special_ or something." He whispered in a hush. "Like maybe they're aliens, or some sort of A.I. that sends out subliminal messages."

Matt looked at his friend strangely. "Dude, you need to lay off the chocolate." He said. "It's messing with your head."

Glaring fiercely, and reflexively reaching to check on his precious chocolate bar, Mello turned serious. "Don't even joke about something like that." He practically growled. Taking a calming breath, he continued. "I was serious about his toys though, we should investigate them."

"I've got more important things to do then investigate Near's toys." Matt said. "This awesome new game just came out and I have to beat it." Moments later his eyes glazed over as he immersed himself in the game.

Rolling his eyes, Mello stood up and headed out of the room. Glancing back in quickly, he checked to make sure Near was still occupied before sneaking down the hallway to the other boy's room. Slowly he pushed the door open, and when he was sure the room was empty, he stepped inside.

"Ok, now to check out the toys." Mello mumbled as he crept over to Near's toy box and dropped to his knees in front of it. Picking up a small dinosaur, he turned it over in his hands. Failing to find anything out of the ordinary, he tossed it over his shoulder.

This went on for several minutes and Mello was beginning to think his theory might be wrong. "They're all just stupid plastic toys. There's nothing special about any of them." He grumbled in annoyance.

"Perhaps you're not looking in the right spot." A voice said from Mello's right. "I'm sure you'll find something if you keep looking."

Mello froze and turned towards the voice slowly. "…um, I know this looks bad, but I'm just looking for my pen…honest." He said quickly, only to realize no one was actually there. "What the…I was sure I heard someone." Shaking his head, Mello decided that he must've imagined it. 'I must need another dose of chocolate; my mind's playing tricks on me.' He thought.

"You know, it's rude to ignore someone when they're trying to help you." The voice said again. "You really should work on that."

"Who said that?" Mello demanded, eyes darting around the room quickly. "Come out wherever you are."

"I am out, and have been _out_ this whole time. It's not my fault you can't seem to find me." The voice replied.

Mello's eyes narrowed and he was just about to start throwing things around when the voice continued.

"I'm over here moron, next to the sock puppet." Raising its arm, the small robot waited for Mello to spot him.

When his eyes landed on the toy, Mello nearly laughed at his stupidity. "It's just a toy, I should've known." He said, shaking his head slowly.

"What the hell do you mean 'just a toy'?!" The robot asked angrily. "Just because I'm a machine doesn't mean I don't have feelings too!"

"…um…sorry." Mello said after several seconds of silence.

"You should be. Why are all you humans so mean to us?" The robot asked. "Well, everyone except our master of course. He's nice."

"Master? You mean Near?" Mello questioned, temporarily ignoring the fact that he was conversing with a toy. "Why do you call him master?"

"Because he saved us from the Arthmens, that's why. Ever since then we have sworn our service to master." The robot replied.

"Who are the…nevermind." Mello said as he shook his head. "Why am I even asking, you're just a toy that Near's programmed to say weird things at a specific time. I can't believe I thought that his toys were aliens. Matt was right, Near's just being Near." Standing up, he was about to walk out when the robot spoke once more.

"You should be nicer to master." The robot said. "If you upset him in any way, we shall come to your room and destroy all the chocolate you keep hidden in your desk drawer."

Whipping around, Mello's eyes widened. "You wouldn't!" He gasped.

The robots eyes turned red and it laughed evilly. "Oh we will, you can count on it. In fact, maybe we'll start with the bars you keep in your dresser instead. You know, the dark chocolate ones you think no one knows about."

"I promise I'll be nice, just don't touch my chocolate!" Mello cried before running out of Near's room towards his own. "I'm coming to save you my precious chocolate!"

Watari looked up from his paperwork as Mello raced by his office. "I think I should probably limit that boy's sugar intake, he's starting to fry his brain cells." He muttered, shaking his head as he went back to signing his papers.

ooooo

Meanwhile, out in the living room, Near continued to sit on the floor as he played with his toy boredly. Ignoring Mello's scream about chocolate, it was a common occurrence around there after all, Near proceeded to crush the dice buildings he'd made with his robot. 'I'm so bored. Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.' He thought, stifling a yawn with his large sleeve.

With a smirk, Matt slipped the small black device he'd been using to control the robot back into his pocket. Making a mental note to thank L for letting him borrow it, he picked back up his game system. 'That'll teach Mello for breaking my game.' He thought with a grin.


	8. Mello's Chocolate

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Death Note or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

* * *

Mello's Chocolate

* * *

It was a well known fact in Wammy's house that Mello is extremely obsessed with chocolate. No one is quite sure where the odd obsession stems from, but they are all well aware that Mello gets rather crazy when something happens to his precious chocolate bars. Ok, crazy might be a _slight_ understatement.

Now as I've previously mentioned, everyone knows chocolate is very important to Mello so, for the most part, they stay far away from any and all things chocolaty to avoid any unnecessary damage to themselves and/or their home. However, there was a time, back before L left to become the three greatest detectives and Near was a recent arrival at Wammy's house, that this fact was not well known. Or at least the consequences of depriving Mello of chocolate was not well known. And thus, our story begins.

"Hey Matt, have you seen that new white haired kid?" Mello asked curiously as he eyed the newest arrival. "He looks kinda weird."

Matt gave his leather clad friend an odd look. "Like you're one to talk." He muttered under his breath as he pushed several buttons on his handheld game system. Then, knowing Mello expected an answer, continued so the blonde could hear him. "I hadn't really noticed." He said with a shrug.

"How can you not notice?!" Mello asked in shock. "He's an albino for crying out loud!" Seeing Matt shrug once more, Mello rolled his eyes. "I bet if he was a new video game you'd know everything about him." He muttered under his breath. Seeing as Matt was once again lost in the world of his games, Mello decided that it was simply too much effort to dwell on the new kid anymore. Besides, it was time for his ten o-clock chocolate fix. Whipping a bar out of thin air, he pulled the wrapper open and took several large bites before putting the chocolate bar back from wherever it had come from.

"Can you do other magic tricks?" A quiet voice asked suddenly.

Mello jumped and quickly looked around for the owner of the unexpected voice. Seeing the white haired child, Near he believed Watari had called him, sitting on the floor next to his feet, Mello blinked slowly. "Um…no." He said confusedly. "I can't do any magic tricks at all."

"What about making that chocolate bar appear and disappear?" Near asked, his eyes never leaving the toy robot in his hands.

"I only pulled it out of my pocket." Mello said, giving the white haired boy an odd look. "There was no magic involved."

"Oh, well that's too bad. I was hoping someone else here was able to do magic tricks as well." Near mumbled with what could've been described as a partial shrug.

"You can do magic tricks?" Mello asked curiously. That was an unusual thing in Wammy's House, being as all the occupants were geniuses and petty magic tricks were way too easy for the likes of them to figure out.

"A few." Near said quietly.

When he failed to continue, Mello crossed his arms. "So, what kind of tricks can you do?" He asked. "Not that I care or anything; I was just mildly curious."

Near glanced up from his robot and cocked his head slightly to the side. "I can make things disappear right before your eyes." He said boredly.

"Yeah right." Mello said, rolling his eyes. "Everyone knows that's impossible. There's always a trap door or a slide-of-hand movement involved."

"Would you like me to show you?" Near asked, his hand pausing above his toy.

"Ok, sure, impress me." Mello said with a snort.

"Very well, I'll need something to make disappear." Near said with a slight nod. "How about your chocolate bar, it should be small enough to work."

Mello's eyes widened and he clutched his pocket closed. "Never, the chocolate's off limits!" He practically cried.

"I thought you didn't believe I could do it." Near said. "If you're sure I'll fail then what does it matter if I use your chocolate bar."

Mello opened his mouth to respond and then promptly closed it again. The little kid was right. If he didn't use his chocolate bar then it would be like admitting the annoying brat would actually be able to do the trick. Slowly, he fought with himself the entire time, he pulled his half eaten bar out of his pocket and handed it over. "You'd better be careful with this, it's my last one and Watari said he couldn't get me more until tomorrow." He said, practically prying his hands off his precious chocolate once Near had taken a hold of it.

Near simply ignored the warning and held the bar up in his right hand. Placing his left hand in front of the chocolate bar, effectively hiding it from sight, Near glanced over at Mello. "Now, watch carefully." Making sure the blonde haired boy's eyes were focused on his hands, Near pulled his left hand away from his right to reveal his now empty right hand.

Blinking, Mello's eyes widened in shock. "But that's not possible!" He cried. "You never even moved your hands; I was watching them the entire time!"

"Magic." Near said with a shrug. "I told you I could make it disappear."

Mello could swear he heard a smirk in the younger boy's voice just then, but couldn't be sure. Crossing his arms with a small frown, he lowered his eyes and began to mumble. "Alright, fine, you win. Happy?" Getting no reaction, Mello unfolded his arms and held out his hand. "Ok, you made your point, now give me back my chocolate."

"I can't do that." Near replied in his ever quiet voice.

"And why not?" Mello asked, anger leaking through his tone as the child continued to sit there playing with his toy. Didn't he know it was time for his 10:30am chocolate fix.

"I never was able to bring anything back after I made it disappear." Near said.

There were several seconds of silence before Mello exploded. "YOU WHAT?!" He screamed. "Then why'd you take my chocolate if you knew you wouldn't be able to bring it back?! I NEED my chocolate!" Wrapping his arms around his body, he began to shake.

If Near were the type of person to roll his eyes, he would have done so. Instead, he gave the leather wearing boy an odd look as he continued to scream about missing chocolate and evil albino children. When Mello ran out of the room, literally bouncing off walls and running over people on his way out, Near turned to the red head that was standing next to him. "I thought you said taking his chocolate would be funny. I found it rather boring actually." He said, pulling the half eaten chocolate bar from his overly large sleeve and holding it up.

Matt smirked as he took the chocolate bar and put it in his pocket. "Just you wait, his withdrawals are just beginning." He said with a grin. "The last time I stole his chocolate, he sat in a corner whimpering for almost 2 hours. It was hilari-." Suddenly Matt was cut off by a rather loud explosion, which seemed to come from somewhere down the hall.

Without looking up from his robot, Near shook his head. "That sounded like a TV being blown up." He stated.

Matt's eyes widened and he nearly let his game system drop to the floor. "Not my electronic system!!" He cried, darting off down the hallway towards the room he shared with Mello. "Leave my precious games out of your chocolate fit Mello!!"

With a small sigh, Near went back to his toy. "This place is far too noisy." He mumbled softly.

When things calmed down several hours later, it had taken Watari that long to finally manage to separate Matt and Mello and lock them in rooms on opposite sides of the building, L and Near poked their heads into what remained of a rather large room.

"Wow, it looks like a tornado landed in here." L said through his thumb as he glanced around the room.

"That would be impossible." Near said bluntly. "The house would've been destroyed as well."

Placing his hand on the young boys head, L shook his head. "It was just an expression, you'll learn eventually."

With a nod, the two continued on towards their rooms, passing Watari as he returned from the east wing.

Watari groaned and nearly pulled his hair out when he finally got a good look at the extensive damage the two boys had caused. "All this over some missing chocolate." He sighed, closing the door and heading back to his office. "I think I need some tea."


	9. Matt's Games

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever own Death Note or anything affiliated with said show.

"Speaking"

'Thoughts'

* * *

Matt's Games

* * *

Matt rolled over, grabbed his goggles off the table next to his bed and slipped them over his head. With a yawn, he stood up and pulled on his favorite vest that was tossed at the end of the bed last night. After straightening his goggles, he picked up his handheld gaming device from the edge of his pillow and headed off to the dining room to get some breakfast.

He'd only made it to the hallway before the need to play his game forced him to pause his search for food. Pulling the system out of his pocket, Matt turned on the power and tuned out everything around him as the screen came to life.

ooooo

Two hours later Mello came down the hallway grumbling about Near, which was a common occurrence in Whammy's House since the two always seemed to get under each other's skin. As he neared the kitchen, Mello paused in his mumblings when he noticed Matt leaning against the wall. "Finally, someone who doesn't piss me off." He said as he threw himself against the wall next to his friend. "At least I can talk to you without wanting to pull my hair out. Mind if I join you?"

"Well we wouldn't want you to ruin your _pretty_ hair." Matt muttered sarcastically under his breath before shrugging. "Whatever."

The pair sat against the wall in silence for several minutes before Mello got bored and decided to start up a conversation. "So, whatcha doing?" He asked, tilting his head over Matt's shoulder so he could see the small screen.

"Destroying zombies." Matt replied distractedly.

Mello raised an eyebrow at the response before shrugging. "…ok, how do you play?"

It took a few seconds for Matt to reply. "By pushing buttons." He said, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

"I can see that." Mello said in annoyance, his hands coming to rest on his hips. "I'm not stupid." Ignoring the redhead's snort, Mello continued. "What I meant, was how do you play through the game? You know, what's the object of the game and how do you go about accomplishing it."

"Zombies are trying to take over the world and you're a hired assassin sent to destroy them. Basically you go around blowing stuff up. It's really fun." Matt said without looking up from the game.

"Cool, let me play." Mello said, grabbing the game system from Matt's hands. "I love killing things." Grinning, he pulled the screen closer to his face and began viciously pounding on the buttons while laughing evilly. "Die you zombie scum!"

Moments after the game system was removed from his hands, Matt's eyes glazed over and he stood frozen in place.

"This is great." Mello said as he continued to kill everything in his path. "What other games do you have?" Hearing no answer, he paused in his destruction and turned towards his friend. "Yo, Matt, didn't you hear…" Noticing the lack of response from the boy next to him, Mello's voice trailed off. "Dude, what's wrong?" Raising a hand to his shoulder, Mello shook the catatonic redhead. "Oh no, I think he's broken!"

Near came walking down the hallway a few seconds after Mello began his breakdown. Raising an eyebrow at the blonde haired boy, Near pulled his toy closer to his chest. "What has caused your meltdown this time?" He questioned boredly.

"Matt's broken! What should we do?" Mello cried, waving his arms around wildly.

Near was silent for several seconds before speaking. "Try plugging him back in." He said slowly.

Raising an eyebrow, Mello crossed his arms over his chest. "What the hell do you mean 'plug him in'? He's not some electronic."

Ignoring the outburst, Near plucked the game system from Mello's hands and placed it in Matt's. Moving the redhead's thumbs over the buttons, Near pushed the reset button and took several steps back.

"This game has a sequel coming out soon too, but it won't be in stores until next month." Matt said suddenly, his eyes coming back into focus and fingers flying over the controls.

"See, he just needed to be plugged in." Near said, turning around and continuing on his way.

Mello blinked and then his eyes widened in shock. "Oh no, the games have turned Matt into one of them! Run for your lives, the evil video games are after us!" Screaming, he ran off down the hallway.

"…well that was strange, even for Mello." Matt said, shaking his head slowly. Yawning, he glanced at his watch. "I think I'm still tired, that little power nap didn't help that much. Maybe I should go lay down." Shutting off his game, he headed back towards his room to get some sleep.


End file.
